Waves
29 Jun 2010 2 Comments
Many of you know that recently I had the opportunity to take a small vacation. I get to spend almost a week down in Florida, my home state, without my kids or husband. It was hard to say goodbye to them for 6 days but I enjoyed getting some time away to think, reflect and relax. The one thing I was insistent upon was getting some time at the beach. Anyone who really knows me knows how I feel about the ocean. It is my version of heaven on Earth.
Something shifts in me when I step barefoot onto the sand and smell the saltwater of the ocean. I love the sound of the seagulls and the crashing of the waves. When I was a kid, my favorite thing to do at the beach was to play in the waves. I’d love to stand there and try to jump over each wave as it came and my goal was to avoid being knocked down and taken under the water. Sometimes I succeeded and sometimes I did not.
Being taken under is not particularly fun. You get saltwater in your eyes and up your nose and that can be very uncomfortable. However it was never painful enough to keep me from the water. I always felt so proud of myself when I survived a wave without being knocked over. I felt like I had conquered something. Each success built my confidence and I felt like I could handle a bigger wave next time.
On this trip I spent two days on the beach. My first day I had every intention of just laying in the sand and soaking up the sun. As I sat there watching the waves crash on the shore, I got the urge to run out into the water and play in the waves just like when I was a kid. Then, I started thinking about the saltwater getting in my eyes and in my sinuses. And the more I thought about that, the less I wanted to go out into the water. Was the fun and excitement of playing in the waves worth the moments of discomfort that would surely come?
As I sat there digging my toes into the sand, I started thinking about how this related to our lives. Everyday we have the same choice I faced that day…..the choice between sitting on the shore and watching the waves or taking a risk, getting out into the water and jumping in the waves. Sure, it’s safer on the shore. The view is lovely and there’s no chance of getting knocked over and having to fight the current to get to the surface for air. But there is also no excitement. No thrill. No victory. No chance to conquer, overcome and get stronger. No chance to really put our lives in His hands and trust Him. These are the places that grow our faith.
Yes, running out into the water and taking the waves head on poses a risk. You WILL get knocked down. You WILL get taken under. And you WILL experience some pain when those things happen. God never said that a life serving Him would be an easy one. But He did say the He would never leave us or forsake us.
A life in the waves will not always be an easy life. You’ll need to be ready for the parts that will be hard and uncomfortable. Each time you get knocked over, you’ll have to decide all over again if you’re going to stay and face the next wave or make your way back to safety on the shore. But with each wave, no matter if you stayed above the surface or were taken below, you have the opportunity to learn something. You learn your strengths and weaknesses. Then, you turn to face the next wave knowing more this time than you did the last. A life lived in the waves is an adventure.
So, my question is….what are you choosing?? Are you choosing to trust Him and run out into the water and play in the waves? Or are you choosing to stay on the shore??
That day on the beach, I decided to take the risk and run into the waves. I got knocked down a lot that day. But it was also one of the most fun days I’ve had in a long time. There were a few times that I looked back at the shore and thought about how much easier it would be to just go sit down and watch. But, it wouldn’t be nearly as fun……
My prayer for each of us is this: that we would choose to live a life of trust in Him and choose a life lived in the waves.
Watching your heart go walking outside of your body…..
20 Apr 2010 3 Comments
I love how when you are pregnant, women seem to come out of the woodwork with advice and helpful bits of information about pregnancy, labor, delivery and babies. You get to hear about morning (and noon and night) sickness, gas, cravings, back aches, swollen feet, contractions, epidural (or lack of one), milk coming in (or milk not coming in), latching, nursing every two hours, lack of sleep, and, and, and, and………. However, they never end it without adding: “But it’s worth every second”. And they are right. Every unglamorous part of being a parent is completely overshadowed by the immense joy and happiness that comes with the blessing of children.
But when fellow parents are filling you in on the fun, not fun and in between, there is something they tend to leave out. And maybe it’s because they don’t want to frighten anyone or maybe it’s because they themselves don’t like to talk about it. For whatever reason, they don’t tell you about the part of being a parent that is downright scary. They don’t tell you about the moments when your heart stops, your stomach jumps into your throat and everything around you is spinning and seems to be in slow motion. If you’re a parent you know that feeling. I experienced that recently with my daughter Abbey. Actually on two separate occasions. And I honestly felt like my world was crashing down around me.
There is a quote about being a parent: “Having children is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body”. While that is an amazing feeling, it also means that instead of having your heart somewhat safely contained inside yourself, it’s out there in the world. It’s not just out there though, it’s running too fast, jumping off of things 5 feet in the air, it’s trying to learn how to ride a bike, it’s climbing a 12 foot tree. And sometimes it makes me feel very vulnerable.
This is not meant to scare or frighten anyone. My hope is that it helps other parents feel like they aren’t alone. After these moments with Abbey, once I knew she was ok, I felt horrible. I felt like I had failed as a parent. I felt alone. It’s my job to protect her and in these two instances, I didn’t do that. Logically I know that it’s impossible to prevent her from ever getting hurt. She’s a kid and they are trying things and exploring. Pain is a part of life and as she walks out her life journey,sometimes she will stumble, fall and get hurt. But knowing that it’s a natural part of life and knowing that a lot of time we learn from the things that bring pain, doesn’t make it hurt any less when you see your child hurting, in pain or scared. Part of me would like to put my kids in a bubble. Not only to prevent them from getting hurt physically but also to control their environment and keep them from getting hurt emotionally . However, that would deprive them of so many wonderful life experiences that will help them learn. Learn who they are, who they want to be and who they don’t want to be. They have to be free to explore and to learn and to choose. And then learn to deal with the consequences of certain choices. I want my kids to choose lives of service. Lives that help others. Lives of love. I want my kids to choose to be people of integrity and character. In order for them to make that choice though they have to first be GIVEN a choice. By giving them that choice, that also gives them the opportunity to choose things that will result in pain. I have to find the proper way to handle the times that they are in pain.
It’s exactly the way the God deals with us though. He lets us explore, learn, test things, try things and choose. And when we hurt, His heart hurts too. We ARE His heart just like our kids are our hearts. He desires us to CHOOSE Him but He doesn’t force us. He lets us make the choice. Sometimes we choose things that result in pain. And as hard as it is for us to see our children in pain, how much more painful is it for Him to see us in pain?
Friends are family that we choose…..
19 Apr 2010 4 Comments
I’ve been thinking lately about friends. When I was younger, it was very important to me to have a lot of friends. It didn’t matter to me how close we were as long as we were considered friends. And as I’ve gotten older, the number of friends I have has become less important to me. Now what matters to me is just having a few close ones. Ones that I can depend on. Ones that I enjoy being there for. Ones that I want to share my life’s journey with.
According to Facebook and Myspace I have 188 friends. Ok, but how many of them would answer the phone in the middle of the night, if I called and needed something? Not all 188 that’s for sure. And more importantly, how many of them would I call in the middle of the night if I needed something?
So that begs the question: What is a friend? Merriam-Webster defines friend as “one attached to another by affection or esteem; one that is not hostile”. To me that definition is kind of vague. But when I try to come up with my own definition of that word, I cannot seem to come up with anything that fits.
There are a few different of types of friends. There are the ones that you say hi to when you are at the same event and maybe even comment on their status updates or pictures on Facebook. But for some reason you don’t set aside time to spend together. Then there are fun friends. The ones you like to hang out with because you always have a good time but your conversations with them don’t tend to get into anything very deep or have much real substance. But you need people that you can just let loose with and have a good time. And that brings us to the final group. The ones that you call when you feel like your world is crashing down around you. And they answer the phone and put their life on hold to listen and talk. They don’t just give you a shoulder to cry on, they let you use their whole shirt as a tissue. They are the Proverbs friend. “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity” Proverbs 17:17.
See I believe that a friend is not only supposed to be there to listen and support you but also to offer council and advice when they see you starting down a road they may think is dangerous or wrong for you. However, I think sometimes we just want our friends to listen and nod their head and agree with everything we say and every decision we make. And if they don’t agree, well then they just need to keep their mouth shut. Really though, that’s not what a friend should do. Yes, friends are supposed to love and support us. But I pray your friends love you enough to tell you when they think you are making a mistake. And I pray that you love and trust them enough to listen to what they have to say. Friends are family that we choose and sometimes family gets messy. If you have a friend that you’ve never had a disagreement with or any friction with, I would question the depth of that friendship. Because it’s through those times that your relationship grows and the roots are deepened and strengthened. That way, when a real tough storm comes, your friendship will still be standing when the dust settles. It’s like the sticker I’ve seen : “A good friend will come and bail you out of jail. A best friend won’t be able to bail you out because they are in the cell right next to you saying ‘Man that was fun’ ” But I would add something to that statement. ” An even better friend would try to talk some sense into you before you did whatever it was that got you arrested”.
One of my friends on Facebook had a status the other day that read “Our most difficult task as a friend is to offer understanding when we don’t understand”. That statement just resonated with me so strongly. At some point in every relationship, we will come to a place where one of us doesn’t understand the other. And what we do at that pivitol moment will decide that fate of that relationship. We aren’t called to agree or understand or like or approve of every decision that our friends make. But we ARE called to love……love at ALL times. Sometimes the situation calls for tough love but that is still love. It’s not always fun to be a friend to someone. It can be a very very painful thing at times. Especially when, out of love, you have to cut ties. It’s hard to walk that line of love for someone and validation of their behavior. There may come a time that you have to draw that line for someone in your life.
So what is a friend to you? And do you consider yourself a good friend to those in your life?
Ahhhhhh!!
09 Apr 2010 2 Comments
Ok so this is not what I had in mind for my first real blog post, however life happened and I had a desire to just vent so here it is.
So, Gavin had his first game tonight. He has been practicing and his skills have improved dramatically over the past few months. He was looking forward to showing off his improvement and I was looking forward to seeing him show his stuff. But, that’s not quite what happened. We played a team that wasn’t really that much better than us but our team as a whole was pretty disorganized tonight. The kids were not focused and were making mistakes on plays that should have been very easy. I understand that they are kids and that stuff like that happens. I am ok with that. What I am not ok with is having a coach stand in the outfield taking notes on a clipboard while his kids are sinking. There were no shouts of encouragement. No attempts to guide them or give them direction. He might as well not of even been out there.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am all for the “just try your best and have fun” attitude but when the kids are embarassed and looking around for help or direction and the coach is just standing there, I have a problem with that. I am willing to chalk this game up to “nerves”. During practices I have seen the coach teaching the kids the proper techniques and explaining why the ball is thrown to certain bases at certain times. I know he can be a great coach. He is a very nice guy. But I do not enjoy watching my kid lose that badly. He walked away from that game, got into our car and said “we played awful mama. We were horrible”. And he was right. They needed their coach to be involved in the game. To be giving direction, correction and encouragement. Boys this age need a lot of reminders, especially when they have they have been couped up in class all day just waiting to be released into the “wild”.
So, I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and see how the next game goes. Maybe he was just having an off day. Everyone is entitled to those. All I can do right now is help Gavin recognize what he could have done better so that next time he can confidently say that he played his best. To me that’s the most important thing.
First official blog!
08 Apr 2010 4 Comments
So here it is, my first blog. As most people who know me pretty well will attest, I have a lot to say….about a lot of things. I don’t plan on making this a “religious” or “spritual” blog. I plan to just talk about whatever is on my mind or heart at that time. I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend and I’m sure I will cover all those aspects of my life plus others with this blog. Now, I am not always correct with my spelling or grammar so please keep those kind of comments to yourself 
But I do want everyone to comment and interact with my posts. Share your opinion, especially if it differs from mine. I can’t wait to put up my first real post…I already have one in mind and should have it up by Sunday so please let me know what you think!! Get ready ’cause here I come…….!!!!!!
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